Coded for Error
“We are built to make mistakes, coded for error,” writes Lewis Thomas in The Medusa and the Snail. “Humans learn, as we say, by trial and error … Why not ‘trial and rightness’ or ‘trial and triumph?’”. Because, “In real life, that’s the way it is done.” Progress requires error. Our response to imperfection is what enables us to improve. The words of the playwright, Samuel Beckett have become a mantra for sports and Silicon Valley: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
Tonight I want us to think about imperfection: In ourselves. In those around us. And in Israel. How might we “fail better”?
G.K. Chesterton once commented, “Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” Here is an example. This summer, Jerry Seinfeld was a guest on Norm Macdonald Live. He began, “I’ve got the best Jew joke, but you won’t get it, because you're not Jewish. In fact, that’s part of the joke.” Get ready….
Two older Jewish men meet. One asks the other, “How’s business?” The friend responds, “Great.”
That’s the joke. If you didn’t get it, you aren’t alone. Seinfeld explained that the joke wasn’t for young people. He explained that it bumped against against the expectation that Jews kvetch and complain. When you have to unpack a joke, it is imperfect.
Imperfection permeates the world which God created. Evolution begins with imperfection. The first amphibian may not have crawled to land because its feet were strong, but because its gills were weak. The imperfection of its gills led to a different type of animal. Its “wrongness” led it to a “betterness.”
Cathy, in an old comic strip, is a young woman is reading the label on her new, fashionably crinkled outfit: “Wrinkles and imperfections are part of the desired look.” Her elderly mother responds: “Now they tell me.”
Ourselves
I wear glasses, was limping last week, and will soon replace my missing hearing device. But I am not only physically imperfect. I don’t visit all the people I want to see. I don’t listen as carefully as I should to family members. I get caught up too much with my iPhone. I’ve been told by Lynn Levy, who will soon be retiring as Rabbinic Secretary that I don’t know how to do math: I’m better at adding to my obligations and not so good at subtraction. And I have many other flaws.
We are stuck with imperfection. We aren’t the way we hope to be. We may as well admit it. The liturgy of this 25 hour fast emphasizes ashamnu, bagadnu, hatanu. We transgress, we rebel, we sin. This day, above all others, we recognise our imperfections and call ourselves to account. We don’t do so to wallow in guilt. Accepting what we have done is part of a process of self-improvement.
Our ability to change and to grow is part of the essence of who we are. We travel along a road that sometimes leads to reversals and recommitments. Learning organizations utilise mistakes to become better. As individuals, we should be able to say, “I see a new way, a better idea,” and then to say, months or years later, “That new way wasn’t quite right. Here’s another way. Let’s see where it goes.”
Although the Torah reading tomorrow will focus on the sacrifices for Yom Kippur, which were supposed to be without any blemish, the ritual of the day — which we reenact during the Avodah service — assumes impurity has affected the kohen gadol, his family, tribe and all Israel.
A Fitbit is intended to measure how far we actually walk, how many steps we really take, so that we can push ourselves to be a little more active. The Torah tradition calls us to account — not to immobilise us with shame, but to motivate us to try again, to try more, to try a different way.In Leviticus, God instructs us kedoshim ti'hiyu — you shall be holy (Lev. 19:2). The imperative stresses that we have the possibility of achieving holiness, we should strive to become more holy.
During Yom Kippur, try to identify one flaw with which you are struggling. Focus on it throughout the fast. Reflect on how it affects you and others. Consider what you might do to initiate some small tikkun-improvement. What would be different were you able to maintain that modification? I’ve always been struck by the call to Moshe, “Come up the mountain of Sinai and be there.” Going up the mountain is one accomplishment. Remaining there is another, much more difficult challenge.
Others
When considering the imperfections of others, of those we love, of our family and friends, of our colleagues at work, Jewish ethical teachings emphasise a different tactic.
An aggadah (Shabbat 88b) imagines God about to give the Torah to the people of Israel. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi portrays the angels as objecting. The human being isn’t worthy of the Torah. The rightful place of God’s majestic Torah is in the heavens.
God asks Moshe to respond. Moshe points out that the commandments presuppose human fallibilities and frailties, Angels don’t need mitzvot. They aren’t tempted by idolatry, sexual desire or cravings. Angels don’t need a Shabbat for rest. They are like robots, programmed to do what is demanded. Moshe prevails. The angels accept that the Torah should come to earth. Because people are not angels, we must live with less judgment and more compassion.
On Yom Kippur we are asked to consider the difficult people in our lives and how we might best manage those relationships. Not all relationships can be fixed. Some, given the right attitude and support, can be made tolerable.
Eyal Sherman, age 34, was buried this week in Philadelphia. He died of heart failure. But he actually had an amazing heart and soul. Profoundly handicapped, Eyal painted exuberant renderings of nature, particularly flowers. Two years ago, his father, Rabbi Charles Sherman, came here to tell us Eyal’s story. At age 4, Eyal was diagnosed with an inoperable brain-stem tumour.
The Shermans would not give up hope. They searched and found a paediatric neurosurgeon who removed the tumour; but Eyal suffered a stroke. Following a four month coma, without ability to move, breathe on his own, or speak, the Shermans brought Eyal home.
With the help of his mother, Leah, Eyal eventually graduated from Syracuse University with a degree in fine arts. He painted with a mouth stick. Eyal inspired others to realize that imperfections can become a source of blessing. His family modelled mutual love and support. Eyal reached unbelievable heights. I will always think of Eyal’s flowers. “You have them forever.”
Andrew Solomon’s book, Far from the Tree, tells of families with children identities that differ from their parents. They are without sight or hearing, conjoined twins or criminals, Down syndrome or dwarves, prodigies or transgender. Parents are challenged by these children. Solomon explores their struggles, their generosity, and eventual acceptance, rooted in the insight that we don't love someone because he or she is perfect. We love them even though they are not.
Israel
This was a difficult summer in Israel. While Israel must always be vigilant for its security, the primary challenges were spiritual and internal to the Jewish community.
A carefully crafted agreement to permanently establish a section of the Western Wall, where Masorti and other Jews can pray in a mixed gender setting and where women can actively participate, was suspended by the Government. Also, legislation was introduced in Knesset to limit conversions in Israel to those approved by the increasingly Haredi Chief Rabbinate.
Disputes regarding the Kotel and Who is a Jew have been ongoing for decades, but it all boiled over this summer. It’s sad to say, as we approach the 70th year of Israel’s independence, the country where Conservative Jews face the most restrictions on freedom of assembly and freedom of religion is in the imperfect States of Israel.
On October 25, Rabbis Yael Splansky of Holy Blossom and Chaim Strauchler of Shaarei Shomayim will join me in a public discussion about many of these issues. Hosted by Holy Blossom, our subject will be, “What We Talk About When We Talk About Israel.”
There are two solitudes in Israel. The Haredi, extremely Orthodox, utilise political power through Knesset coalition politics to leverage financial resources for their communities. They also want to restrict expressions of Judaism that they view as heretical and dangerous to Jewish life. Masorti and Reform Jews seek to use the power of Diaspora Jewish institutions and the authority of the judicial system to gain a place of respect, dignity and legitimacy in Israel.
Clearly, our most important allies will be those living in Israel who share our values and concerns. Many non-Haredi citizens have sympathy for the Masorti position, but not enough to affect voting patterns. They do worry about the growth and influence of the Haredi community — 50% of all students in grade 1 currently come from the very Orthodox community — because these demographics will challenge the economic, educational and security future of Israel.
Efforts to bring the Haredi community into the common areas of Israeli society are making slow progress, but there are always hiccups. Meanwhile, 300,000 citizens of Russian origin are non-Jewish Jews, many wanting to normalise their Jewish status, but are stymied by Haredi insistence on control of conversion and stringent standards for entry into the covenant.
Masorti Judaism
These societal imperfections have stimulated an interest in Masorti Judaism. I am proud of the efforts of our congregation to assist this process. Our members have supported projects in different Masorti congregations that have provided places of worship, bomb shelters for kindergartens, and educational opportunities for young people. Thanks to the generosity of the Tanenbaum family, we bring future Masorti rabbis from the Schechter Rabbinical School to Beth Tzedec and Camp Ramah for internships. Let me tell you a bit about these Rabbinic Fellows who are transforming the face of Judaism in Israel.
Since her ordination in 2007, Rabbah Chaya Rowen Baker has served as the seder of the Masorti congregation in French Hill, a Jerusalem neighbourhood near the Hebrew University. She represented the Masorti-Conservative community in the first pre-Tisha b’Av day of learning convened by the President of Israel and her remarks were widely quoted in the media and by Natan Sharansky.
Rabbah Tamar El-Ad Applebaum, ordained in 2005, founded Tziyyon, a thriving congregation in the Baka neighbourhood of Jerusalem. It is a joy to pray there on Friday nights. Active in promoting religious pluralism, Tamar also helped to initiate the outdoor outreach Kabbalat Shabbat service at the First Station. She regularly brings Jews, Muslims and Christians together for shared spiritual study and prayer.
Other former Fellows making a difference in Israel include Rabbi Michal Schwartz, who is building the Masorti community in Petah Tikvah and was the first female rabbi called to active duty by the IDF. Rabbi Nathalie Lastreger made history with a legal case before the Israeli Supreme Court and now serves in Kfar Vadim, a village in the Western Galilee (which is the home of Mayan, our new Shinshinit).
Rabbi Dikla Drukman developed spiritual studies for students and parents for the network of Tali schools. Our Tali schools now educate over 40,000 students in an educational framework comparable to the Robbins Hebrew Academy. Dikla just became rabbi of the the Masorti congregation in Omer, a suburb of Beer Sheva. Our most recent Fellow, Rabbi Yerach Meirsdorf, finished his second summer as head of the Marom camp (the Israeli equivalent of Ramah) and is now the national director of its youth program.
These are the kind of religious leadership our congregation has helped foster. These young rabbis — and others, such as Yoav Ende, who has developed a Masorti educational institute in the Galil for pre-army students — are doing spectacular and significant work seeking to develop an Israel whose values are congruent with ours. There is an informational flyer available to you describing the achievement of our Masorti movement over the past four decades. Please take it to refresh your memories about the growing impact of our movement on Israeli life.
If I am Not for Myself…
There is much work still to be done to transform the imperfect Israel that currently exists into the democratic, Zionist and Jewish Israel for which we yearn. Orthodox political parties use their electoral strength to access significant funding for their programs and institutions. The Masorti movement depends on allocations from the Jewish Agency and your personal generosity.
When I meet with members of Knesset - in Jerusalem and when they visit Toronto — I seek to raise awareness of the creative diversity of DiasporaJewish life. As Conservative Jews, we must raise our voices for greater respect and recognition by Israeli organizations and political leaders. We also should be personally generous. Our support is essential for the congregations, schools and rabbis that want to build a better Israel. We must have their backs in this sacred struggles for the soul of Israel.
I appreciate the support you continue to provide to our Annual Campaign at Beth Tzedec. We depend on your generosity to accomplish the many marvellous things we do here.
If I am only for myself…
Please also consider investing in an Israel Bond and donating it to support the work of the Masorti movement. You can build the physical infrastructure of Israel through Bonds and the human infrastructure through Masorti.
A few years ago, a secular business executive attended a Masorti tefillah. Later, he told Rabbi Michael Graetz, I am “not sure what [I] was seeing and what [I] was feeling. This was not the way [I] had experienced Judaism up until now. It was different and did not seem to contradict [my] kibbutz and Zionist values…. If the face of Judaism in Israel [were] this way… how different our State would be.” He then added, “You have to work much faster to inculcate this kind of Judaism in our society; time is running out.”
From Imperfection to At-one-ment
Imperfection can become a blessing. It motivates our self-improvement and cautions us to be less critical of others. Imperfection can open our hearts and strengthen our hands to help others. Imperfection can renew our efforts to build the human and religious-cultural infrastructure that Israel so desperately needs.
Yom Kippur is well-known as the Day of Atonement. Break up that word and it becomes at-one-ment. We are challenged to look at the imperfections in ourselves and others and to find a way to “fail better,” so as to make ourselves whole. Let us begin tonight. “If not now, when?”
Lewis Thomas, The Medusa and the Snail (Penguin, 1995)
Mark Kingwell, Fail Better: Why Baseball Matters (Biblioasis, 2017)
Amy C. Edmondson, “Strategies for Learning from Failure,” Harvard Business Review (April 2011).
References:
https://hbr.org/2011/04/strategies-for-learning-from-failure
http://www.uucpa.org/sermons_06/sermon060827.html
http://www.farfromthetree.com/
Charles Sherman, The Broken and the Whole (Scribner, 2014)
Dateline NBC. https://www.nbcnews.com/video/eyals-story-109056067831.
